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Family stuff

Yesterday I went and saw Paul Dempsey at The Zoo with Miss. T. and fuck, The Valley is full of fucking losers. I told some guy to go and get hit by a car - he tried to rip a cigarette out of Miss. T's hand, ruffled my hair up, and told some chick she was fat because she told him not a chance when his eyes basically undressed her.

And there were lots of people, but not 250, 000 as Miss T's friend predicted. We went to go into a lame bar on Anne Street but the lineup was huge so we met at Ric's instead, and it was like, who's who of musical types, as it always is.

Today I went to Wynnum with Daniel, and we met up with the family, and we stood on the foreshore and mum and my uncle walked down a little concrete thingy-ne-bob (jetty but not a jetty) and emptied nana's ashes into the ocean. I was OK, I cried a little, my cuz, she cried a lot and my sister walked away quite quickly after the ashes were gone with the wind and the water. Mum got some on her jacket.

Then we went to the RSL club and we ate and drank and things were merry until they decided to have bingo in the eating area and eveyrone was ssh'ing us and then Daniel and I left to go back to mum and dad's, and apparently after we left a lady who works for the RSL came over and said to mum that one of the bingo players had complained that our table was being loud, and the RSL lady said "you don't have to listen, but they're watching me to make sure that i actually do tell you otherwise they'll complain further". mum said loudly "this isn't what my mother fought for in the war", and she's right. I was so tempted to yell out bingo 25, 000 times.

Oh, and I won $80. On the pokies. Go me.


Heavy reading.

I really like being an Arts student. I haven't exactly had the freedom in subject choice compared to St Lucia students, and also because all of my Primary Education subjects have counted as my 'unspecified subjects', but this hasn't really bothered me as I've so far found subjects that I've loved, bar one... which was pretty bat-shit boring and I wasn't too fond of the teaching techniques either. But other than that one subject, which I managed to pass, I've really been enjoying Uni. for the last year and a half.

Doing 4 subjects this semester is pretty full on ... in that the assessment is heavy and the content is constant but it's all such interesting stuff and the lectures and tutorials give me something new every week. Being an Arts student can be a little overwhelming sometimes, because you have a bit more freedom for the "if, but" compared to other faculties... which is full of awesome most of the time, but sometimes being a fencesitter and constantly changing your mind on shit can be a bit ... tiring. I've always been a bit of a fencesitter when it comes to some things. Not so much with religion, where I've always been an athiest (or, atleast for as long as I can remember) and on topics like euthanasia (though there was a time when I thought it was 'youth in asia' *snort*)/abortion/capital punishment - but one changes ones mind when one is directly involved. I can say that, for instance, that I don't agree with capital punishment... but I've never had a family member/friend be murdered/had horrible stuff done to them. Because I live in Australia and capital punishment doesn't exist here I guess, in a way, because I've only ever been exposed to it by things I see on TV or read about in the papers it seems like a bit of a distant concept to me. Granted, capital punishment did exist in Australia until 1984 (where Western Australia was the last state to abolish capital punishment) but I was only 1 then... so I can only go by stories I've heard or stuff I've read in the history books.

Anyway. I think I'm coming to the conclusion that a lot of stuff that exists in society, a lot of the rules, a lot of the expectations, a lot of the ... norms ... are very heavily socially constructed , are really reliant on the culture, are dependent on the era and are often circumstantial. Maybe I'm wrong, though I don't think that I am (as I really don't think this is one of those right/wrong things, more just a matter of opinion). I wouldn't mind doing a 'special subject' next semester at Uni. (like a mini-mini honours) on something vaguely related to this. I'm still trying to work out what I want to be when I grow up. It was brought to my attention recently (by a counsellor) that I would make a fairly good counsellor. I wouldn't mind doing that and career advising and the likes at a University level, but again with the my being a bit emotionally retarded and probably taking too much on board.
I also like the idea of Philosophy/Education and while I don't think I'll go back to teaching (not while the current system is still the way it is), I would like to be involved in improving the system, in particular, the way that children are assessed ... as I think this has a rather detrimental impact on a lot of kids and turns square peg kids into round peg kids from a very young age when they're extremely impressionable.

Anyway. That's my heavy rant for the day. I wrote stuff earlier but it was far too negative so I sort of disregarded it and started again after I'd had a coffee.

Now I'm finishing the first draft of my Symon/Neil & Identity (7up) essay and am going to start on my are drugs (antidepressants) addictive essay.
So, I was checking a Neighbours Spoilers page, because I'm lame like that, and I'm a little sad by what's going to happen in the next few weeks. It's always horrible when soapies deal with deaths because it's SO drawn out and the music is so soppy, and everyone is so sad (as, you know, people generally are, when people die), but then, 2 weeks later, everyone has moved on and the people who are related to the person seem to have moved on too. I understand that it's not a reflection of real life grief, and 'soapie time' is more chunky than 'real life time', but I watch Neighbours because it's not ALWAYS full of drama like Home & Away is. So, I might decide to give the week where there is death and sadness a miss, but it's kinda sad, because the character who is (supposedly) dying is one of my favourites... and it seems unfair that this character is dying.

Also, I love that eljay have dorky as an emotion.
I just watched Psycho Beach Party, and oh, the lols. While it is obviously a b-grade horror film, I still got scared in the 'scary' parts. Man, I'm lame. I'm not into the torture slash (i.e. Saw, where the horror borders on pornographic). But I think I need to decensentise myself. I was thinking this awhile ago, and I'm thinking about it again. So I ask you, my lovely livejournal friends of good horror films. Or even bad horror films. The badder, the better. And by bad, I don't mean OH MY GOD THEY CUT HER LIVER OUT WHILE SHE WAS ALIVE AND MADE HER EAT IT, DUDE. I mean, you know, b-grade.

Now I'm watching New Tricks, and The Bill is next on the things to view list. Have I become horribly boring recently, or what?

Oh, in good news, shiny news, even, some good friends of mine are getting married in August! They're having a small ceremony, and Daniel and I have been invited... apparently I have to read a poem, though. I'm not sure if it's a pre-written poem or one I have to write myself...

These school holidays will consist of housework, preparation for next semester (and by preparation, I mean reading awesome philosophy or film and television books), watching Ice Age 3 and Hannah Montana, and other kid like movies. Also, enrolling myself in some sort of AUSLAN situation, watching Firefly from START TO FINISH (again), and maybe tracking down some Miss Marple episodes, and watching those too...
Yesterday mum and I picked my nephew up from school, as we normally do on a Wednesday afternoon. Rather than going straight home we went to McDonald's instead, bought some crappy food and after William had finished eating he went and played in the playground.
There were other kids in the playground and mum explained to them that Will was deaf and that he doesn't speak but squeals a lot. Because he is fairly tall for his age, and is used to playing roughly with other kids at his school, he was running around the playground and scaring a lot of the kids. One of them came out and said to her father "that boy's naughty" and he said "he's not naughty, he just can't hear properly" to which she replied "why? what's wrong with him?". She went to go back in but William made a tiger pose at her (with the growling and the like) and she smirked at him (in a nasty way) and poked her tongue out, then went back to her father and commented on how she didn't want to play with that boy, because he was weird.

Then, there were some other kids who were playing in there, and I walked in to explain that William wasn't being rude when he wasn't talking to him - it was more that he couldn't. When I explained that he was deaf, and they asked why, I told them that something had happened to him when he was younger and he lost his hearing... to which they replied "Poor boy". I said that it was OK and that he was happy, he just can't hear as well as other kids and communicates a little bit differently. I stayed in the playground for awhile and noticed another child wandered in, and gave Will a bit of a funny look... one of the kids walked over to him and whispered into his ear "He's deaf!"... wherein I felt like saying "You know he can't actually hear you talking about him?", but couldn't be bothered....

Will was happy enough, and while he probably does know that he's different to other kids, I don't think he's at the age where it's having an impact on him yet. He's a very happy cuddly kid and he has a supportive family and goes to an excellent school (to support his needs). I only wish that other kids could be educated about kids being different. It reminds me vaguely of how I was bullied in some sense or another in school (curly hair, glasses, being short and a lisp are not very awesome combinations). I know most kids are bullied at some point or another - and when I was on Prac Studies (while studying Primary Ed) I found it difficult to remove myself (emotionally) from a situation when I saw a kid being bullied. A few times I made the mistake of taking sides before I knew what had happened... which I quickly learnt is not a good thing to do.

Yesterday was a bit of a reminder to me that I really DO have to enrol myself in an AUSLAN course as William pretty much learns a new sign every day at school (as there's two other deaf children in his class, and the teacher pretty much signs as much as she talks).
Uni. today was not so good.

Firstly, I handed in my Psych report. Which was not so good. The whole process annoyed the bejeezus out of me. And I was whinging about it to someone else who said I was being needy, because everything I've said I was going to do poorly in, I've actually done quite well in. But I don't think I'm going to do well in this one... but, uh, I've thought that in the past with other shit. So we'll see how it goes. When it comes down to it, it's only worth 10%, so you know, I should stress less.

The other bad aspect of today was a friend at Uni. had his wallet stolen. He left his shit unattended which is frowned upon by library staff and security alike, but fuck, people are cunts. He looked so upset... so I wandered around with him looking for his wallet, went down to security to report it, checked bins and toilets and other places that wallet stealers are likely to hide stuff. He looked sad, and I wanted to offer a hug because, well, hugs always cheer me up. But that could've been an awkward moment much, so I waved and wished him well (and I thought evil thoughts of doom about the wallet stealer).

I think I'm one of the only ones who didn't watch State of Origin last night - I was just thinking about how many people are going to get swine flu :P I also missed Chaser again last night (again), which apparently was very offensive (something about dying children) and everyone is complaining about how rude and offensive the Chaser Boys are... but I'm all, like, duh. Haven't you seen previous seasons? While some of the stuff that the Chaser Boys do is a little off tap ... and some of it is highly offensive, a lot of it makes people stop and think ... or even to see something from another perspective. It pushes peoples buttons and it makes them think about stuff. From different angles. And I think that's important.

The only way we can stop society from repeating the mistakes it has made previously is by identifying these mistakes and changing stuff.

I will, I am, I had

I will be quite relieved when this semester is over.

I am almost done with my psychology report. Almost. Except for the whole having to cut 300 words out of it, because it is too long.

I had cheese before, and it was good.

Also, I looked after my nephew for a bit before and mum and dad left because dad had to take mum to the bus stop, and then it was just me and my nephew. He'd just gotten out of the bath and was nakie and wouldn't get dressed. He ran around screaming a lot and I was trying to communicate with him (he didn't have his coculear on) so he was looking at me, shrugging, and then continued to run around like a CRAZY PERSON. So I turned it into a game, and in the end got him dressed (when he realised that his clothes wouldn't fit me, as I tried to put them on in many funny ways). So. Children are cute. Until you're left alone with them. Then they're frightening.

I need to enrol myself in an AUSLAN class, because Will is signing more and more every day. I see him once a week at this point, but I suppose I need to work out some strategies for getting him to listen to me - because the ones I used to use don't really work anymore. Plus, a lot of the time he can't actually hear me (though I think sometimes he makes a choice not to hear me).

In other kid news, I caught up with my friend on the weekend who has a few kids... and she was happy as she had a day off last week and managed to sleep for most of it. She noted that she hadn't had a proper nap since her first one was born... which makes me NERVOUS. Dan and I go to the markets early in the morning and she says that I am FRAZY and that I should sleep in while I can.

Man. Vampire Wars on Facebook is far too addictive.

That is all.

Remember to logoff!

I'm at Uni. early for once, and wasn't caught in a rain storm on my walk to the train station, so thus far, today is going awesomely. Today I'm going to finish my psych report so I can go over it a final time tomorrow. I'm also going to start on the 2nd draft for my philosophy assignment and start researching for my Welfare in Australia assignment. I'm feeling confident about this semester, but have to remember I do have a 40% multi-choice psychology exam, but I studied quite well for the last psych exam, so I'm not stressing too much. I just have to organise myself with my assignments so I give myself enough time to study for the exam properly.

I've finally worked out what I'm doing next semester, after much deliberation. I'm going to do 3 2nd year subjects (Working with Teams and Groups, Contemporary Ethical Issues and Human Development & Social Work) and one 3rd year subject (Ethics on the Job). I have to go see someone from Uni. to work out where I am in the path of Uni., and establish when this path will come to an end. Even though I think study will always be a part of my life in some form or another, I do actually have to get a real job one day. I'm still thinking librarian stuff, but that would require post grad which is more study which means less money. I still have a little while to think about it though, so I'm not all worried or anything.

Anyhoo. Here I am procrastinating when I should be starting on Uni. stuff. My first class isn't until 1pm, so I do have at least 4 hours which should be ample time. I purchased a toasted sandwich at a cafe near the station but the sandwich is crap, so I'll have to buy food at some point because Ellie doesn't function well on an empty stomach.

Dan and Ruby and I are going to Baffle Creek this weekend which should be lovely. Which is another reason why I want to get stuff done by then. We'll be there for 3 days which will be nice, especially considering Sunday is Queensland Day - we might go to Town of 1770.

So, tell me something new.

I've just spent the last 1/2 hour sobbing my guts out because my nana ended up going into hospital *again* tonight. Not feeling well, probably from all of the excitement of this morning... and dad just kinda said, that, well, she's not really that well (why are parents so logical when you don't want them to be logical?).

Anyway. While crying is sad and stuff, I forgot how much better you can feel after a good cry. Release of toxins, and the like. I still feel like shit, though.

That 70's Show made me giggle a little, which was nice.

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